It’s a hard life, but someone’s gotta do it. #bordeaux #uni #summer
In November 2013 I was revising for exams and also applying for vacation schemes with commercial law firms in London and Dublin.
I will be the first to say that my marks are not the best but they neither are they bad, so I thought I had a fairly decent chance with some of the smaller firms. And if I am being really honest, I thought the fact that I go to Trinity would give me a boost with Irish firms.
In December I was home. In January I had exams.
I January I also received my first rejection for a company that I really liked and would have loved to work for. Then another rejection came, and then another. All in all I think I put out about 20 commercial law application, with 17 rejections and 3 are still pending.
This was demoralising, and if Im being honest, it made me lose hope in myself, my studies and my future. It’s not an existential crisis (circa danisnotonfire) but it is a crisis of some sort. Im calling it a quarter life crisis.
I have never felt so hopeless. That is the perfect word for it… HOPELESS. I was, and still kinda am, empty of any purpose or joy. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I have ne reasons to live, but it got close to that for a while.
My parents couldn’t cheer me up and neither could my friends. And, being honest, I feel bad for bother them so I have a pretty good fake happy face. Im good at repressing my feelings, until a time when I can let them out. Im good at changing the subject when I dont want to tai about something. Im good at keeping the focus away from me when I want to.
The thing that is kind of making me come out of this kinda dark place is the fact that I decided to apply to something else… A mini pupillage. Ive always liked the idea of being a barrister, but I mut admit that I have never gave it serious thought. Im not mean, Im not cut throat. But, on the 25th of February, while watching Silk, I thought, why not? Whats another rejection gonna do to me?
That same day I got an offer to spend a week with a serious crime barrister in London. Needless to say I was ecstatic.
Then I got an offer for a week with a commercial law firm in Belfast. Needless to say I was even more ecstatic.
So that is my story of why I have been absent.
If anyone on here knows me in real life… Im okay. And even if thats not the whole truth right now, it will be soon.
Update again soon.
Nothing like a bit of reggae on the way home. Trust me to land in Bordeaux in carnival day. #d’oh #carnival #bordeaux
Bye bye home. Will see you again in April. :’( #sunrise #home
I deem naked without these rings. Turquoise ring from a tiny stall in Lagos, Portugal ; middle finger ring from a local Northern Irish jeweller ; small “D” ring is a lovely present from the lovely Katie and the other ring is from a church in Bobruisk, Belarus. #rings
The view makes waking up at 7am bearable. #sunrise
I have totally missed this view. :D #vw